In Her Words: Ellen Sharpe, Art, Soul, & Pinball
At 82, she is still overcoming fears, finding courage, and nurturing her spirit by connecting with people and passions.
I graduated high school in 1959 and was married in 1960 to a man I met on a blind date. My mother thought he was the right religion. He was handsome. His parents had lots of money. And he was in college. So, I talked myself into the whole thing. We were both virgins on our honeymoon. Not long after I was married, I knew I was pregnant. In 1962, at about the same time my son Seth was born, my father went to prison for embezzlement. Not long after that, I knew I wanted to get a divorce.
My father was a brilliant man. He went to college when he was 14. But he was also a compulsive gambler, among other things. His arrest was on the front page of the newspapers. When I visited him in Sing Sing, my father said, “Don’t get divorced. You have a child.” But I thought, “I’m sorry. I’m not leading a double life like you did.” Unfortunately getting a divorce wasn’t easy for me to do in New York at the time, which meant I had to go to El Paso and take a bus to Juarez to get a Mexican divorce. Back then there was no divorce, no abortion, and no credit cards for a woman unless your husband signed for you.
After the divorce went through, I was freaked out. That was a very trying period. I was on public assistance, and I was so depressed that I felt like quicksand was swallowing me. I come from a generation of women who worry. My grandmother came here to the United States from Russia by herself at 14 years old. Most of her family was killed by the Bolsheviks. While I was growing up, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was in a lot of fear, and just very insecure.
I realized that I had to move on and try to do good for my son Seth. It was very difficult, but eventually I put one foot in front of the other, and as I started moving, I was able to come out of the depression. Finally, I got a job and was able to get off welfare. I had all different kinds of jobs to support myself, but nothing that I loved. I talked myself into being a secretary even though I had no experience and somehow, I managed to move ahead. In 1972, I got a job as an executive secretary at an ad agency in New York City, and it was great. Every time my boss would go to look for me and I wasn’t at my desk, I was in the art department. During that time, I started painting on pieces of marble. My work was displayed at the Advertising Club on Park Avenue, and people wanted to buy it. I had no idea what to charge. Other than one art class as a freshman in high school, I was a self-taught artist. People kept telling me how talented I was, but I certainly didn’t believe it.
Also in 1972, I picked up a book on how to foresee and tell your future. It was kind of like what we call “visioning” today. At that point I really wanted to be on my own and take care of myself, so I started visioning. I wrote down everything that I wanted, including what I wanted in a future husband. He had to be tall and kind and smart and all these wonderful things. But I forgot to say he should be wealthy. One day at work, while I was in the elevator going down, the door opened, and a man entered. A few floors below I asked him, “Do you work for an ad agency?” He said, “No, I’m an unemployed copywriter, coming from a job interview.” As we reached the lobby, he asked me out for coffee. I couldn’t go, but I gave him my business card (see photo above). That was November 14, 1973. Roger called me two days later. Five years later, on November 14, 1978, Roger and I were married in a rabbi’s study. It was a Tuesday, exactly five years from the day we met. Afterward, we had a champagne toast at Roger’s friend’s pinball arcade on Broadway. He closed it to the public for us and it was fabulous.
When we were married, Roger was working for GQ as managing editor. While he was there, he became interested in pinball and started writing articles about it for the magazine. (The game was banned by Mayor LaGuardia in 1942 in his effort to curb mob activity because people thought it encouraged gambling.) In 1976, Roger wrote a book titled “Pinball!”, he proved in a court of law that pinball was a game of skill, not of chance, and the pinball ban was overturned.
Pinball is what eventually led us to move the family to the Chicago area. Roger went to work as director of marketing and licensing for Williams Electronic Games in 1988 and stayed with the company until 2014. Later, during the pandemic, two writers got in touch to say they wanted to make a movie about Roger’s story. “Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game” was released in 2022. Mike Faist played Roger and Crystal Reed played me. It’s now streaming on Hulu, Amazon, and Apple TV. Today one of my sons works for Stern Pinball in Elk Grove, Illinois; my husband, sons, and grandson play competitively; and I play in a women’s league called Belles and Chimes. There are 25 pinball machines in my house.
In 1979, after Roger and I had Josh, our first son together, I left the ad agency to become a stay at home mom, which was great. A few years later, Zach was born and our family of five was complete. You blink and 10 years go by … or 40. For years my husband kept saying, “Please do something with your art.” And I just didn’t. Then I met a spiritual counselor who said she wouldn’t work with me unless I went to art school. “Well, I'm too busy with the children,” I said. I made every excuse. Finally, when my son Zach showed interest in art, I enrolled him in an art school and forced myself to take classes there too for a couple of years.
When I was 50, a friend asked me to work through the book “Drawing With Children” by Mona Brookes with her and then she asked me to join her in opening an art school in St Charles, Illinois. She moved, so that didn’t work out. Then, while volunteering with a program at my son’s school, I met another mom who was familiar with Mona’s book. Again, we talked about opening a school and that woman also ended up moving out of state! We had even talked to Mona and started to go through the process. Mona said to me “I think you have to do this by yourself.” And I’m freaking out, because it was my nature to be in fear and freak out. Still, I went through an extensive training with Mona and became licensed in the Monart method. Mona sent me the license and I signed it, but I didn’t read it. She reached out and asked “Well, where’s your school opening?” According to the terms of the license I had to open a school. So I guess one should always read a contract.
I know that when I’m open, that the universe always, always provides. I meditate daily. When I’m fearless, I know that all will be provided at the right time. Every once in a while, when fear visits, I have to do tapping, breathing, and a whole bunch of other things I’ve learned over the years to get out of that space. I’m really grateful for all the gifts that I’ve been given. It’s been extraordinary.
As of this December I’ll be going into my 30th year as the owner and director of Monart Drawing Studio. We can teach anyone how to draw based on five basic elements of shape, and we start with the five year olds all the way through adults. If our students don’t know how to draw, we teach them step by step, and they learn how to see. Once they can see, they advance to the next level. For me, it hasn’t been just about teaching art. It’s also been about having deep conversations with children. It’s been wonderful and I’ve built some great relationships, but lately I’ve been thinking about selling the business, because I'm not getting younger and I’m facing mortality. I am hoping that someone will want to take over the Monart Drawing Studio and continue the legacy of what has been created over these past many years. Art is such an important part of everyone's life even if they don't know it or believe they have the talent to express themselves. All of us, both young and old, have the ability to discover the artist that lives within each of us and that to me is the true blessing of what the Studio has achieved. It is life giving. I plan to live to 120, but you never know. I want to spend more time with my family, animals, and new adventures.
If you were to go back in time, what would you tell your 25 year old self?
Be fearless and know that all will be provided at the right time. Don’t be like your ancestors, and live in fear. Just go for it. The other thing I would want my 25 year old to know is “I am enough.”
Bell Curve Stories is about women navigating life with grit, grace, and growth, so we would like to know what those three words mean to you in terms of your life experience.
It’s hard to pick those three words apart. When I look back at everything I’ve gone through to where I am today, I see that I was pretty courageous.
Sometimes I would get premonitions of things and things would happen, and it used to scare me. It doesn’t frighten me anymore. I realize that I have been guided, although I didn’t know back then that’s what was happening. Every experience I had led me to the next phase. Sometimes I allow myself to feel and be present to the enormous emotions of life and be grateful through it all and with it all. I’m grateful for all the gifts that I’ve been given.
In April, I went to a two-day workshop at Body and Brain in Mount Prospect. The goal was to find your true self. It was very intense physically and psychically moving. I did another one on healing your chakras and trust. Both those workshops were amazing.
I believe that life must be lived forward and can only be understood backward.* I feel like I’ve had an extraordinary life.
As told to and edited by Teresa Bellock and Sandra Ditore.
* “Life must be lived forward and can only be understood backwards,” is attributed to Søren Aabye Kierkegaard.
Ellen Sharpe, 82, (turning 83 on 10/23) has been the owner and director of Monart Drawing Studio for nearly 30 years and was awarded the Cultural Arts Award by the Village of Arlington Heights, Illinois, in 2017. She is also an artist, competitive pinball player, wife, mother, and grandmother. Ellen lives in Arlington Heights with her husband Roger, her dogs, and her two feral cats. She is looking forward to spending more time with her family, her animals, and new adventures.
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