In Her Words: Robyn Williams, Wealth Management Pro By Day; Counselor and Author By Night and On Weekends
What started as a part-time job just to earn extra money has become a vocation and a labor of love for this gifted researcher, author, counselor and life-long learner
I had to grow to adulthood to appreciate the gifts that were my Mother and Father. From Pops I received my drive to succeed, my persistence and my ability to get back up whenever I’m knocked off my square. Mother was the glue that kept us all together. Mother is where I received my love of reading and writing; my compassion and patience with children with mental illnesses; and my willingness to forgive. I still miss both my parents tremendously.
When my mother passed in 2012, I felt like my world had crumbled. It was really unexpected. I had been her caretaker for a number of years after she developed dementia. I thought she'd be around a lot longer. It just felt like the rug had been swept from underneath me. I had to learn how to walk and talk all over again. That's how my mother’s passing left me feeling. Meanwhile, I had to go to work every day and deal with grief in my own way, as most people do. It became a process of putting one foot in front of the other just to get through the day. But behind all of that, I was not well. At the time, there was so much stigma around mental health and I didn't even have the language to explain that I was going through a mental health challenge.
“I had to go to work every day and deal with grief in my own way, as most people do. It became a process of putting one foot in front of the other …”
So, I started walking. At the beginning it was sad. Though I was surrounded by people, I just felt so all alone. I’ll never forget that there were times when I would be on my walk and I noticed people walking their dogs. I loved to see this because I would look at a dog, see if their tail was wagging, and be able to tell if this dog was happy. I found myself saying “Oh my God! A dog is for love!” It was the walking that gave me the courage to call the EAP (employee assistance program). I got referred to a therapist, who turned out to be a grief therapist. I was able to express that I often felt like I was in a tunnel and I could hear all of this noise, but no one else did. It was a relief to have someone nonjudgmental to speak to. I saw the therapist for a few months, and I could feel myself coming out of it. It was very eye-opening for me.
In addition to my day job working for a research and advisory firm in the wealth management industry, I work part-time some evenings and weekends for an organization called Lawrence Hall that serves youth and young adults living with serious mental illnesses. My mantra is to love the unlovable, and I’m challenged by that every time I go there. They are boys ranging in age from seven to 18 and the mental challenges they face run the gamut. All of these kids are traumatized in some form or fashion. When I’m with children who cannot express exactly what it is that they're feeling — maybe they don't have the clinical language to express it — and they're having an outburst, I'm able to remember what grief and depression felt like for me. That personal experience helps to guide me in how I relate to the kids.
“My mantra is to love the unlovable …”
Lawrence Hall has a residential care facility that is connected to a school that they built and run. In the residence, there are four floors and there are two units on each floor, with eight separate rooms in each unit. Some of these children have been in the system for a lifetime. Sometimes they've been funneled through so many different homes that you know there is no consistency for them. A lot of times the parents have given them up, but the goal is, if possible, to reunite the children with their parents.
Working in this field has been so deeply rewarding for me, more so than anything I've ever done in the more than 15 years that I've spent in wealth management. I think it's because I am directly touching lives, impacting lives, shaping lives, molding lives, and always trying to give hope. I know that I can leave an imprint on these children. I can tell you that the mental health portion of this part-time job has become so searing for me that I feel as though I have found a second calling in life.
My first calling was writing. I’ve written seven books and had them published. I'm still writing and hopeful that my books will one day become movies. I am so geeked about that. I feel as though the timing is now because of the way things have shifted with all of these different film platforms that are looking for content.
Belle Curve Stories is about “women navigating life with grit, grace and growth.” What do these three words mean to you?
Grit for me is remembering my own mental health crisis, as mentioned earlier. I have since become a grief coach and I have a wellness action plan that I follow. What that means for me is just the recognition that even before my tank is empty, I have to be reaching out. My faith is huge. I have this close-knit circle of six women — I call it “the Collective”. We talk, we share. There's no judgment. It’s all a safe place. That's huge for me. Another part is I am a huge fan of acupuncture. I love it. It’s great for relieving stress.
Grace and growth is a combination. Growth comes in when we look back and say “You know, I don't want to go through that phase anymore. I’ve been there. I've done that. And I've learned and I've grown from that.”
Growth has come as part of the journey. Grace was needed when I was let go from my last job after having been there for nearly 15 years. What was graceful about it is that I never had to look for another job. My new job came to me from a former colleague who had just been talking to another one of my former co-workers and said, “I need a Robyn Williams.” Oh, my goodness! I look at it now as such a graceful moment for me.
Grace has to be extended to other people and not just expected for myself. So, of course, there's prayer but that’s when grace kicks in, especially for me, mostly for me when I'm working with the children.
If you could go back in time and give advice to your 25 year old self, what would you say?
Sometimes I look back and I say well, “I didn't do this. I didn't do that,” and I find myself living with that sense of regret. When opportunities arise, I know now to just grab them.
I'm taking classes at the Illinois Institute of Technology to get a Recovery Support Specialist Certificate. I’ll use what I’m learning to talk to the kids in a language that they can understand about any grief or trauma that they may be experiencing. Out of this has come an opportunity to pursue a PhD. I applied and if I'm one of the people selected, I'm going for it! I’ll be a 60-year-young woman pursuing her movie deal AND getting her PhD. I’ll be that woman who is living her best life!
As told to and edited by Teresa Bellock and Sandra Ditore.
Robyn Williams, 59, is a life-long Chicagoan who wears many hats. In addition to part-time work in the mental-health field, she works as a business development manager for a wealth management advisory firm. A huge literacy advocate, Robyn founded The Bestow Foundation, a non-profit literacy organization dedicated to improving literacy skills of Chicago-area adults and families. Robyn has a master of science degree in health communications from Northwestern University at Evanston, Illinois. She is a published author who has written several novels, as well as some well-researched non-fiction work.
For more information on Robyn’s books, visit her website. You can also find her on Instagram @authorrobynwilliams.
